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Tuesday, August 31, 2004

What's in a name?

Of late, I've built up quite a name for myself in certain circles. This name is "Gah".

Gah: noun. a. Word or language having no meaning or conveying no intelligible idea b. Language, conduct, or an idea that is absurd or contrary to good sense c. Synonym for Suhail. First used by SM.

So how did Suhail (as per Birth Certificate), Babloo (in childhood), Suka (in BITS), Kishmish (in WIMWI), IHPT (at work) and SK / SSK (in various fora) now acquire the name "Gah"? Here's how ...

Circa 1990:
(SK = our hero Suhail Kassim, D = his daddy)
SK (leaning out of taxi) : Oooh daddy, look at that group of cows.
D : "Herd of cows".
SK : Of course I've heard of cows.
D : No no, I mean a "cow herd".
SK : So what if a cow heard? I didn't say anything to be ashamed of.
D : Gah !!

Circa June 2004:
GSS (in romantic mood, under canopy of stars) : Suhail darrrling, I love you.
SK : Thanks pal. Even I love myself !!!!
GSS : Gah !!

Circa July 2004:
PN (preening himself) : This is my "Tom Cruise" look.
SK : Ha, so what? It isn't Tom Cruise's Tom Cruise look !!!!
PN : Gah !!

Circa August 2004:
(MTCG = Movie Ticket Counter Guy)
SK (to PN, walking up to the ticket counter) : ... so Coolcat's post is titled, 'Social Service for?'
MTCG : Social Service, four?
SK : Yep, that's what I said.
MTCG : You want 'Social Service', four tickets?
SK : Not exactly, I want social service for the poor, the downtrodden ...
MTCG : 'Social Service' doesn't run in this theater.
SK : Dude, social service hardly runs anywhere in India.
MTCG : Go somewhere else for 'Social Service'.
SK : See, that's exactly what all these rich Indians keep saying ...
MTCG : Here we have 'Dhoom'.
SK : Yaar, dhoom dhamaka nahi chaahiye, gareebon ke liye sirf do waqt ki roti chaahiye.
MTCG : Ok, so no 'Dhoom'. Phir which movie do you want to watch?
SK : Dhoom, of course.
MTCG : ???? Ok, Dhoom. Four tickets?
SK : No yaar, two.
MTCG : Gah !!

Circa last nite:
I dream that Lalooji is attending a World Cow Conference, and he goes, "Gah hamra maata hovat hai. Gah hamka doodh devat hai. Is doodh se rabri banaawat hai. Is liye hamri dharampatni ka naam Rabri hovat hai. Gah ke do pair aage hovat hai aur do pair baad mein aavat hai ... "

So now I've decided to rechristen myself. Can I hear your traumatized voices saying, "Oh my Gah" ... "Gah help us all" ... ???

~ Gah the Great :)

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